CONGRATULATIONS! YOU HAVE STUMBLED INTO "THE SHALLOW ZONE." WATCH OUT FOR THE ROCKS. SOME OF THEM ARE SHARP.
If you're looking for a blog with meaningful content on the important issues of the day, you've come to the wrong place. This is the shallows, my friend. Nothing but shallowness as far as the eye can see. Let someone else make sense of things. I like it here.
MY SHALLOW MISSION STATEMENT

MY SHALLOW MISSION STATEMENT

MY SHALLOW MISSION STATEMENT
Not that there's any weight to it...
IN A WORLD FILLED WITH COMPLEX POLITICAL ISSUES, SOCIAL INEQUALITY, AND FINANCIAL UNCERTAINTY, I CONSIDER IT MY GIFT TO YOU, MY READER, TO OFFER THIS SHALLOW LITTLE HAVEN, WHERE NOTHING IS TOO SHALLOW, TOO INSIGNIFICANT, OR TOO RIDICULOUS TO JUSTIFY OUR ATTENTION. IN OTHER WORDS, IF IT'S NOT IMPORTANT....SO WHAT? NEITHER WAS MARILYN MONROE'S BRA SIZE. AND THAT STILL SELLS MAGAZINES, DOESN'T IT?
VIDEO OF THE MONTH

Saturday, May 26, 2012

GOOD EVENING, EUROPE! SING SOMETHING, WOULD YOU?


ABBA. Lulu. Brotherhood of Man. Celine Dion. Father Ted. What do they all have in common? No...wrong. The right answer is that they all share the honor of having won the Eurovision Song Contest. Well, Father Ted didn't actually win in real life, just on the show, but "My Lovely Horse" will always be a winner in this fan girl's songbook. Seriously, though, tonight will see the Grand Finals of the 2012 Eurovision Song Contest play out, and this year's event has all the makings of a down-to-the-wire nail biter.

Okay, on the off-chance that you've somehow never heard of the Eurovision Song Contest (or Father Ted, for that matter), I'll give you a little background. As you have most likely already inferred, it's an annual competition in which representatives of various countries (active members of the European Broadcasting Union ) perform an original song with the hope of being crowned the winner, which, with any luck, will mean that they will go on to enjoy a long and successful career in the music industry, ala ABBA and Celine Dion.

ABBA: POP MUSIC'S MOST COMMERCIALLY SUCCESSFUL SINGING GROUP WON THE 1974 EUROVISION SONG CONTEST ON BEHALF OF SWEDEN WITH THEIR FUTURE TOP FORTY HIT "WATERLOO"

CELINE DION: CANADA'S MOST FAMOUS DIVA WON THE 1988 CONTEST FOR SWITZERLANDWITH "NE PARTEZ PAS SANS MOI"

So, how did it all start? Well, the first Eurovision competition was held in Lugano, Switzerland on May 24, with seven countries participating. The winner was Lys Assia, who just happened to be from Switzerland, who wowed the judges with her performance of a song called "Refrain." Since that auspicious occasion, the competition has been held all over Europe, in the process launching the careers of some very big names, such as those on the aforementioned list. However, tonight's final round will mark the first time that contestants will compete in Baku, the capital of Azerbaijan. That fact alone has some EBU members on edge. Not only will tonight be the first time that the formerly Persian city will play host to the competition, but it draws attention to the fact that Azerbaijan's human rights record has long been a source of concern among Europeans. So far, EBU board members have ignored outside pressure to turn tonight's festivities into a political event, but, if we've learned anything from watching Academy Awards presentations over the years, it's that, given a stage and a spotlight, there's usually someone who will take the opportunity to make a political statement. "Human rights violations" may not be a phrase we'll ever heard from the lips of Ryan Seacrest during an episode of American Idol, but in a competition originally conceived as a musical antidote to the trauma of a recently-ended world war which, in 1956, was still affecting the daily lives of many Europeans, politics is never far from the minds of both the participants and the audience.

2011 EUROVISION WINNERS: SINGING DUO ELL AND NIKKI STUCK IT TO THE COMPETITION IN DUSSELDORF, GERMANY LAST YEAR, BECOMING THE FIRST WINNERS EVER FROM AZERBAIJAN

Even apart from all the surrounding hoopla, this year's Eurovision competition has been notable on several, much less incendiary counts. Ukraine's representative, a brown-haired beauty who goes by the single moniker of Gaitana, and who will be singing an upbeat little number called "Be My Guest" for the judges tonight, has been criticized by some Ukraine right-wingers because she is half Congolese. One politician even went so far as to claim that she "is not an organic representative of our country." But such criticism hasn't stopped Gaitana from becoming one of the favorites in tonight's final competition. Nor has attention of a different kind kept another of tonight's frontrunners from keeping their collective eye on the highly coveted prize. Russia's entry, Buranovskiye Babushka, a group comprised of six grandmothers who perform in colorful peasant-style skirts and kerchiefs, were the surprise winners of the Russia's national singing contest this year, beating out younger, more mainstream acts with a song called "Party For Everyone!" which they will reprise tonight. With the group's youngest member clocking in at 63 years, Buranovskiye Babuski have already said they have no plans to go on tour if they win tonight, but they will no doubt record a follow-up album to their 2010 effort, which included covers of The Beatles' "Let It Be" and Deep Purple's "Smoke On The Water", as well as "Dlinnaja-Dlinnaja Beresta I Kak Sdelat Iz Nee Aishon", the song with which they won third place in the Russian Eurovision Song Selection contest that year, and whose name translates, in English, to "Very Long Birch Bark And How To Turn It Into A Turban." If they do win the big prize in Baku tonight, the group has said, they plan to donate the cash prize to their church. What? No new kerchiefs? Bottom line, no matter who wins tonight, the Eurovision Song Contest is a perfect way to usher in the Memorial Day holiday. After all, it is a holiday originally conceived as a tribute to American soldiers killed in World War II, many of whom died on European soil. In other words...barbecue tomorrow, definitely, and plant flowers on Monday, but be sure to watch Eurovision tonight.

CONTROVERSIAL CONTESTANT: GAITANA OF UKRAINE HAS DRAWN CRITICISM IN HER HOME COUNTRY BECAUSE SHE'S HER HALF-CONGOLESE, BUT HER SONG "BE MY GUEST" IS STILL A FAVORED ENTRY IN TONIGHT'S COMPETITION

THEY FOUGHT FOR THEIR RIGHT TO PARTY: BURANOVSKIYE BABUSHKI MAY BE OLD SCHOOL IN THE EXTREME, BUT THEIR SONG "PARTY FOR EVERYONE!" HAS PROVEN A FAVORITE WITH JUDGES AND AUDIENCES

Tonight's competition is scheduled to begin at 9 PM, standard time, which means that it will already be tomorrow in Baku when contestants take to the stage for the final round. And for most of us not in Baku, it will be probably be tomorrow before we know who the winner is. But, if like me, you just can't wait that long, you can watch the live stream online at http://www.oleoletv.com/watch/live/stream/online/free/tv/video/channel/feed/link/broadcast/vivo/gratis/p2p/19/47352/may-26-2012/eurovision-song-contest-2012.html right now. So get to it. Another year is just too long to wait.

Skol! xoxxoxoxxoxoxoxo

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